Time For A Change…

It’s no secret that since Izzi was born I’ve been in a constant state of exhaustion, terrible moods and no self-esteem (I sound like a post pregnancy cliché!)

But the last few months it’s been worse.

I’ve still exhausted, I’m always ill (perks of 3 of the 4 of us spending 5 days a week in the germ field that is the school environment!) and I’ve gained ALOT of weight. All this has meant that my self-esteem is at all time low, I’m permanently grumpy and I now make less effort with myself that I have done in years.

‘Self love’ and ‘self care’ have been non existent which as we all know, when we make time for a simple bath without a child in tow, it does wonders for our soul. We feel relaxed, refreshed and happier. Even if its only for a few minutes, it’s a few minutes you don’t feel the stresses that come with adulthood.

Since going back to work I’ve been constantly ill, and I mean it. I’m forever suffering with a cold, the flu or a ‘virus’. I would call the GP only to be told (over the phone) I was run down and that’s that. But a couple of weeks ago I hit breaking point and called the GP, this time demanding I’m seen in person. I was given an appointment that morning and 2 hours later I was seen. I was hoping I would be told I’m run down and they would recommend something more than just ‘chilling’ but unfortunately they didn’t. I was rushed for bloods and told my blood pressure is a little low and I have a temperature of 40. I didn’t even feel this but it did explain the chills and fevers and the dizzy and light-headedness I kept experiencing. There were a number of things the doctor suspected it could be and a couple of days later my first set of bloods were back it showed I was anemic with no iron stores…

If you ever read my pregnancy updates with Izzi then you’ll probably know I was anemic through out my pregnancy with her. I was on iron tablets throughout and just before she was born they did mention an iron transfusion but luckily I never needed one. When she born though I (stupidly) assumed that now she was here, I was back to full blood health and had nothing to worry about

Alas, it now appears I was wrong. Being 25, the doctor was concerned that something else is causing such a severe iron deficiency though and she sent more bloods off (they should be back by the end of the month!) SO I was prescribed Iron tablets and that’s that. I  have to rest when I can and take my medicine.

It wasn’t till id taken my 3rd tablet on the 3rd day that I remembered how ill they made feel. Stomach cramps, bloating and nausea to name a few. Of course after googling ‘If I eats loads of steak and spinach will I get better’ it appears I’m going to have to stick it out until my body adjusts to the supplements.

The 3 days worrying that I could actually be really ill scared me.

And to be honest, I wouldn’t have been surprised.

Why?

Because I don’t look after myself anymore.

Since being pregnant with Izzi, I’ve eaten like a pig (if at all). I’ve flitted between slimming world and silly crash diets in a bid to get back to my pre Izzi body (which when I actually had it, I was convinced I needed to lose weight, god I wish I could slap myself!) and I’ve snacked on unhealthy, fatty foods.

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I mean seriously Jess, You don’t even have cheek definition anymore and your skin is more blotchy and pigmented than your 14-year-old self!

They say that it sometimes take something a bit drastic to kick your butt into gear when it comes to ditching the carbs and sweets, and you know what? It’s true.

I’ve lost count the amount of times I sat on the sofa on a Sunday evening, turned to Chris and gone ‘tomorrow I’m going to get healthy…’ By Monday lunch time I’m eating crisps and drinking Tea by the gallon with 4 sugars in and guess what? It carries on until the following Sunday where the whole process is repeated!

So, this time it’s for real. But not because I desperately want to fit into the size 10 jeans I have in the wardrobe, but because I want to feel healthy and happy again. I want to like what I see In the mirror and I want to be as far away from the cliché frumpy mum I’m fast becoming as possible.

I will never be one of those mums who always looks amazing. Who do the school run in make up and in an outfit that doesn’t consist of joggers and hoody. I will also spend any time I’m at home in my pyjamas, it’s all about comfort. And my hair and make up is never going to look spotless. I WISH I could be like that (I mean seriously, every mum I see looking like a model gives me a lot of inspiration) but I’m not and I never have been. I have the attention span of a Nat meaning one side of my face is always marginally better than the other (I say marginally because my make up application is so horrific it’s basic at best).

But I can be a mum who tries. A mum who is a good example to her sweet loving daughters and most importantly a mum who is fit, healthy and here for the girls who, lets face it, are the reason for most things I do!

I’m not doing anything crazy, let’s be clear about that. I don’t do well under set dietary rules no matter how lenient they seem (Slimming world worked for a while I lost weight and felt great but I hated being restricted!) And calorie counting stresses me out. For now I’m going for moderation and exercise. After 5 years I’m digging out the lycra and Nikes and hitting the pavements in hope of reaching 10K in a few months. I’m also going to aim to do my 10,000 a day. I use my iPhone to count them at the moment and I’m thinking of heading down the Fitbit route, but we’ll see.

But getting healthy isn’t just about food and fitness for me this time. It’s about getting back to the me that looks after herself with some self care evenings. Taking the extra time to do my hair and make up (I went to work yesterday and it wasn’t until lunchtime that I realised I hadn’t done my make up or hair. I had literally got dressed and brushed my teeth- Hair still in the sleepy bun I’d thrown it In the previous night!) Baths, face masks and actually enjoying a book are also things I’m going to strive to do.

So, that’s that. A new challenge for myself is set. And now that its out in the open I guess I have to do it right?!?

Before I go, does anyone have any Fitness tracker advice?

Actually while I’m asking for advice, does any one have any YouTube workout recommendations?

Let me know!

See you on the flip side!
Jess

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