Hello 2018

And just like that, Christmas is over.

I am definitely feeling that post-Christmas come down this year and I’m sure it’s because not only did we have the best (most relaxing) 2 weeks we could have wished for, but I also go back to work next week which of course has put a massive downer on my Christmas joy!

I have now been off for over a year and I never thought id be the type of mum who would relish being at home all the time with nothing for myself (which I know sounds horrid, but is true) The idea of being a stay at home mum used to terrify me. The idea of it made me exhausted I ever understood how so many women do it. Work to me, even if it was only a few hours a week, was something for me. A few hours a week were I was Jess, not mummy or home maker! But here I am, a year a bit later and I’ll be honest I have loved every second of it. Not because I haven’t had to work, but because being at home, filling my days with baby clubs, playing and house work has actually made my heart full! Being at home all the time though and rarely having a moment to yourself is hard though and I am not just saying that. It really is. I have had approximately 2 lie ins past 7 in the last year and I honestly can’t remember the last time I did nothing apart from eat and sit on the sofa or the last time anything was about me for just 1 minute. But, and again, I’m not just saying this, I like it like that. I love-making everything about the girls and even Chris. Admittedly I imagine time to myself at least once a day but when it comes to it, I hate it and spend the entire time counting down the minutes till I’m back to being mummy!

All the above being said, having something for me is definitely necessary, the money that comes with working is also a bonus, specially seeing as we are holiday addicts with a pug obsession (well Abi and me have a pug obsession anyway…) So I’m starting the year returning to my old job on fewer hours in the evenings but I’m also taking the plunge and considering finally trying to get into a career that has always interested me and is also full-time! An SEN teaching assistant… I’m currently completely my diploma in complete SEN education and it is intense. Its incredible just how much more there is to  know about disabilities and learning difficulties and I’m really enjoying learning something so in-depth and new. Of course getting into such a career does come with its challenges and I am nervous about going full time but its one of those things that you can’t predict until it happens.

Working is just another battle when you’re a parent isn’t it? There are positives and negatives to working full-time or minimal hours if at all and each one comes with its massive drawbacks. I know that for me personally I’m constantly fighting the internal argument of ‘should I work full time’ and I’m not even back yet. I keep asking myself If its worth it seeing as child care costs are so astronomical I mean would it really be worth me working so much for the extra money if we don’t really get the money in the end? Again, I guess this is a factor that you can’t really predict until you’ve tried it.  I’m also struggling massively with the idea of the girls, Izzi especially, being in some sort of childcare 3 days a week partly because of every parents fave emotion, mum guilt, and because of my control freak/anxiety tendencies!

Did anyone have a complete career change after maternity leave? Am I completely crazy?

Let me know!

Mumma Of Daughters

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