Being a mum is tough. Some days I wake up (well, get woken up… at 5am!) and if im honest, I don’t want to do the school run, or change 3 pooey nappies and get pureed banana in my hair. I want to lay in, drink a hot cup of tea and actually have time to eat a substantial meal. That being said, those thoughts disperse pretty quick when I get those first cheesy grins of the day.
Growing up I was always a bit of a mother hen. I loved looking after the younger children and helping them with whatever they needed. So it wasn’t really a surprise when I fell pregnant young (well it was a surprise but you not what I mean…) everyone knew I would be a mum as soon as I could. A career was never on my radar, not because I don’t think careers and children work, but because I know I couldn’t of ever got the balance right.
Having 2 girls is my dream… I never had a sister growing up and to be able to watch them play and be so close already is pretty much everything… Even when Izzi is winding Abi up (yes, she does that already!) and when Abi is hell-bent on waking Izzi up from a nap because she’s bored, I love it and find myself watching for hours!
The last few weeks have been full of a lot of playing for these two. Izzi is suddenly even more interesting than she ever has been to Abi and despite not being able to talk at all, it almost feels like they are talking to each other sometimes and like Izzi actually understands what ever Abi is rabbiting on about.
School has been Abigail’s massive draw back lately. She behaves so well at school that ultimately, when she comes home she has to let her steam off somewhere and unfortunately, that amounts to a lot of stress and pure naughtiness. Izzi however finds her outbursts and tantrums hysterical which make Abi worse. A scary sign of the future maybe?
Having children is a constant learning curve. Every day I learn something new, be it a new way to deal with pesky tantrums, how to get blueberry stains out of a cream rug (Chris if you’re reading this, I didn’t mean to tread it into the carpet but you haven’t realised so its all good…) or what phonics are (still not entirely sure). It’s also a constant battle of wills. Some days I just can’t be bothered to argue with my 4-year-old over the reasoning behind my decision to not allow her to have a sharing bag of haribo for breakfast or explain why Abi is too young to have her hair straightened and wear make up. Its constant and I think, if all mum’s were being honest they would hold their hands up and admit that they can count on just 1 hand how many days they’ve enjoyed that haven’t involved at least 1 tantrum and refusal to eat a meal.
On the other side of the tantrums and shit storm of parenting, you have days where your little devil is the opposite. Abi is famous for this. Some days she’s my best friend, a dream and I’m fairly certain that once she has 2 weeks off for Christmas and time to be a 4-year-old and play all day, every day she will return to old self. The old self that included more good days than bad!
I’m due to return to work at the beginning of January and I’m dreading it. I’ve enjoyed motherhood more this time, not in a bad way, but in a ‘I kind of know what I’m doing’ way. I have a routine that works for everyone and I am pretty nervous to have to change that. I’m also quite nervous to see how Abi will react to me returning to work, and after what will be 10 months of leaving Izzi for no more than a few hours (most of which has been when she’s asleep) I’m scared to be without my little sidekick. I’m going to attempt going out without her (when childcare permits) just to prepare myself.. Ill be sure to let you know how that goes!
I’m going to start doing a two weekly joint update about the girls and me. Including all the nitty-gritty details of our week, pooey nappies and tantrums included!
Mumma Of Daughters